


a lover's touch

by Lost_Stellar



Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Again, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, and i haven't wrote this boys in a while, and theres some parts i like, boys are crying, my friend says hi, patrochilles - Freeform, some parts i don't, technically, this was actually wrote for a kiss prompt, this was wrote over the period of like four different classes, we gonna deal with it, writers block been a bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 20:19:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17535554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_Stellar/pseuds/Lost_Stellar
Summary: “Can you tell me?” Barely a whisper. Achilles didn’t answer for a while and Patroclus didn’t push, but listened closely when he finally heard the voice he held dear.“I killed a man.”|||achilles is a half god with emotions that still run and he needs the boy that he's holds most dear to get him through it





	a lover's touch

**Author's Note:**

> a good part of this was written at midnight, then half of it was written over the course of 4 different classes and with friends that are not very helpful when it comes to concentrating heh - anywayyy i apologize in advance if this one does seem a bit jumpy ?? also archive doesn't want to work with me so im sorry if the format is kinda ,,, weird, but i hope you still enjoy it, thank you for reading !!

It was the first rainfall of the month. Dirt turned to mud, rivers rose higher, the injured bandages stuck to his fingers annoyingly. Blood that he continued to clean continued to only run further. The moisture made his hair stick to his face, occasionally blocking his field of vision. As nice as the rainfall was to the melting heat, it still annoyed him with no doubt. He’d rather burn to Helios’ power than drown to Zeus’ wrath. When the little glow of the sky they had left began to disappear, Patroclus finally finished with is last injured soldier. He cleaned the blood off his hands, having to remove yet another piece of metal and stone from someone’s limbs. He let out a deep breath as he stepped out of the medical tent, now his clothes also sticking to him. It felt like something was crawling over him, trying to get under his skin. He hated the rain on most days. He was exhausted more than usual, now he double hated the rain on most days. With another rush of breath, he quickly started to make his way across the dirt field. Rain water had started to puddle in certain spots, making the short trip just a bit more treacherous. When he finally got to the dryness of his shared tent, relief washed over him. He was quick to remove his drenched clothing and put on dry ones, using extra blankets and towels to shake out his hair. By this time the already dark sky had almost completely blackened, tinging an almost worry in Patroclus chest. The army was usually back by this time, Achilles attempting to kiss every freckle on his face before Helios had even had completely set. Patroclus knew that an entire army couldn’t just disappear, especially since so many of them were sent to him for repair. Though there was something he could feel in the pit of his stomach that was telling him things weren’t right. His suspicions answered only a few moments later. His love walked into their tent, blood staining his armor and water drenching any open part of him. Usually when Achilles came back from a day of fighting, he was immediate to start talking; his voice still hyped on adrenaline. But now. He was silent.   

 

His slender fingers removed his golden helmet to show darkened blonde hair. Gold, gold, and gold. His golden boy who had yet to smile at him. Something was wrong, oh so terribly wrong. Even the fluff of his hair had given to the rain’s touch.

“Achilles…” His voice was quiet, but loud enough to get the blonde’s attention. Green eyes meet hazel, but they weren’t Achilles eyes. Light green seemed so much darker, distant and cold. The half god turned his gaze away, continuing to remove the rest of his armor in silence. Once he was done, Patroclus repeated his name.

“Achilles.” Sterner. This time the blonde really looked at him. His eyes were wet, hands shaking, and bottom lip being worried between his teeth. The sight made the brunet’s throat close and his heart stop, his body moving before he could even realize. He pulled the blonde tightly into a hug, arms wrapping around Achilles middle and face resting against his collarbone. He tried his best to give a comforting nuzzle even with their height difference disadvantage. The taller man was only limp against him at first, but Patroclus knew the message through physical contact was being conveyed. After a few still, silent moments Achilles cold demeanor finally began to break. His shoulders shaking lightly, face stuffed into the croke of the brunet’s neck, fingers digging into his sides, and small hiccuping sobs often leaving him. Patroclus allowed him to cry, soothing his hand up and down the other’s spine. Even his half-god boyfriend needed to be human when the times called. Once Achilles began to quieten, the brunet spoke softly again.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
“Can you tell me?” Barely a whisper. Achilles didn’t answer for a while and Patroclus didn’t push, but listened closely when he finally heard the voice he held dear.                          
“I killed a man.” Patroclus jerked at the almost completely monotone response. He kept his grip on Achilles tight, but still couldn’t stop his head from tipping in confusion.            
“What?-” Achilles you’re fighting in a war-”  
                                                                                                                                                                                                                
“No Patroclus, I killed a man.” The blonde responded more sternly, voiced strained. Still the brunet was yet to understand.                                                                                        
“Usually they just die without any trouble, but this man… was praying.” He could feel Achilles’ tears run down his shoulder.                                                                                        
“He still prayed with the last little breath he had even as my spear was still through his chest. He prayed that his family was okay, prayed that they knew he loved them, prayed-” His own sob choking his words, his voice only getting louder and sadder as he continued. Patroclus wasn’t exactly sure what to do, but just hold on even tighter to his love. There was a reason why he kept himself off the battlefield, not even being able to imagine the horrors all those fighting had seen. Achilles continued to cry, his grip on the smaller growing violently tight. Patroclus hated himself when he couldn’t stop the thought of how beautiful the person looked even with eyes welded up with tears. They stood there for a while, Achilles letting his emotions run and Patroclus desperately trying to keep his in. They finally let go of each other when Achilles tears stopped running. Though they didn’t completely let go, their hands still tightly holding in the small space between them. Achilles kept his gaze on their intertwined hands, a sigh leaving him.                      
“Honestly Patroclus, what in all of hades am I doing here.” Achilles lightly shook his head like he was trying to physically rid of his bad thoughts. Patroclus let out of a rushed breath, almost a laugh, almost a scoff, not knowing the way to respond.                                                                                                                                                                     
“Why are you asking me?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
“Because you’re the reason for my everything.” Color immediately rose to Patroclus’ face at the comment, even the corner of Achilles’ mouth lifting slightly at the reaction.            
“How can you just say that shit out loud?” Patroclus muttered under his breath.

 

A tiny laugh left Achilles and Patroclus couldn’t stop the small smile that took over his face. Their eyes met and they stared for long, silent moments. Achilles eyes were brightening, something glazing in them that Patroclus wasn’t sure of. Achilles stepped closer, not saying a word as he pressed their foreheads together. The look on his face was sickeningly sweet and it only made Patroclus’ face turn even redder.

“Achilles?” He asked his name for what felt like the millionth time that evening. Achilles moved his face slightly, lips placing a small kiss right above the corner of his hazel eye.

“I need you.” His voice was barely audible, like he was trying to share his deepest secret.

“H-Huh?” Patroclus’ entire body felt like it was engulfed in flames, his own voice stuttering.

“Gods Patroclus, you’ll never understand, I just,” a shaky inhale and a trembling exhale,” _need you._ ” The laugh that left the blonde sounded more like a cry, but he interrupted Patroclus before he could even respond.

 “I need to hear your laugh, I need to see your smile, I need to know you’re with me, I need to know you love me. Patroclus. I. Need. You.” The sound of his name being said the amazing way that Achilles pronounced it with the blonde’s claims was sending shivers down his spine, his grip on Achilles hands suddenly a lot tighter. Patroclus face was five times brighter than what was probably considered healthy, he opened his mouth to stutter something out, but Achilles kissed it close. They were desperate and needy, gasps escaping both of them. Their hands latched onto each other, Achilles hands gripping onto Patroclus waist tightly and Patroclus arms quickly wrapping around Achilles neck, fingers threading through the golden strands. They broke apart moments later, breathing heavy and chest heaving, but the half-god didn’t stop his attack. He moved his kisses down his jaw, the brunet’s neck the center of the attention. Patroclus gasped, his heart racing, and his brain far behind. Achilles began to mutter small whispers against his skin. Things he loved, things he could never get tired of, things he -

 

“Heellloooo?” That voice. That gods. Damn. Voice. Achilles and Patroclus jumped harshly away from each other, yelping loudly.

“Hey, dinners been ready for the last 20 minutes - oh - am I interruptiiing,” eyebrows raised in a tease,” Why don’t I ever get invited to these things?” Odysseus’ smug voice came from the entrance of the tent. Achilles groaned annoyed and Patroclus let out an embarrassed whine from behind his hands, face the reddest it had been all night. Odysseus face was evil, smirk on his lips and eyes narrowed to kill.

“Don’t you have a wife that you talk about _often_?” The blonde snarled in question.

“Penny and I got it open, ya know.” Odysseus shrugged, face still smug.

“Dissy, are you invading people’s privacy again? Damn, don’t you know how to knock?”

“Ah, yes because I can knock on fabric. Also you? Privacy? Diomedes, we’ve _bathed together -_ “ The two finally began to walk away, leaving the sobering blonde and brunet alone. Patroclus finally uncovered his eyes, but still finding himself laughing at the obscenery of the situation, Achilles eventually joining him. The blonde soon let out a sigh, hands attaching to Patroclus hands.

“If we don’t want to be ‘interrupted’ again, we should probably get going. I do get you to myself for the rest of the night.” Achilles smirked at him and Patroclus giggled cutely.

“Yeaaaah,” he drawed out the word to biting his lip,” do you feel better now?”

“I do. Thanks to you my philtatos.” They didn’t move for a little while, staring smittenly at each other.

“Hey.” Patroclus spoke quietly, smile permanent on his face.

“Yes, my beloved?” Achilles responded even quieter.

“Love you.” Achilles let out a squee of emotion, immediately bursting into laughter at his own terrible voice break and it wasn’t until that moment, with his love’s laughter ringing in his ears, that Patroclus had finally realized something fundamental If he had the choice, he wouldn’t burn to Helios’ power or drown to Zeus’ wrath, but rather lose his air to the beautiful energy that was his aristos achaion.    


**Author's Note:**

> will i ever write these boys happy and not as emotional mess?? a great question that i will probably never answer :) but thank you for reading !! i do appreciate it and if you have anything you wish to say, please do comment ! i'm always open to just talk or for any criticism - i am in a writing slump at the moment and this was actually written for a prompt, i had a list of kiss prompts and my friend picked a random number and the prompt ended up being "i need you kisses" and welp, i tried -- but if any of you have any suggestions for a prompt that you would just like to see me do, i am totally open to anything related to this beautiful group of adult toddlers, just mention it in a comment - sorry this is so long, but thank you for reading once again !! and i wish you a nice day !!


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